Dear Friends,
I write at 8 PM on Tuesday, the 15th. I has been at least two weeks since I last wrote. these last two weeks have been really fatiguing, with little or no time to write on this blogsite. This morning our retreat centre said 'goodbye' to 27 people who spent the last month here making the famous 30-day personally guided retreat according to the Spiritual Exercises composed by Ignatius of Loyola, the founder of the Jesuits (died 1556). I guided three of them, all women religious, two from the congregation called the Missionaries of Charity, founded by Mother Teresa of Calcutta. I am emotionally spent from listening to the profound and deep sharings of these women each day. With each day the content became progressively deeper, some of it emotionally wrenching and exhausting for me. I cannot listen to such without taking on some of the feelings of the person telling their story.
One other element that is taxing is to be listening to a heavy accent, Kenyan or French. And when the conferences go the full 45 minutes and are back to back, I get exhausted. So on Saturday eve, I slept 9 hours, then two hours Sunday afternoon and another 9 hours Sunday night. Last night I slept my usual 8 hours and still felt wiped out after lunch today. It is my brain especially that feels tired from working so hard mentally, and then, as I said, with the emotions mixed in with what people were saying. I need to work out on the treadmill and stationery bike, to breathe deeply!! That is what will get the brain to relax!
One person processed the death and the 3.5 year dying process of her mother. The final hours of her mother's death were so vividly remembered and such memories triggered by her praying on Mary, the mother of Jesus, being at her son's execution and witnessing so much blood being shed--so too this woman seeing her mother hemorrhage so suddenly and heavily at the moment of her dying! She just lost it emotionally this time and then again when praying on the slaughter of the infants by Herod in an attempt to kill the Christ-child. The horrendous killings during the 2007 election here in Kenya and the murderous anger on the part of the dominant tribe toward the other major tribe that had been given large chunks of the dominant tribe's lands by the government some decades before boiled over and led to mass murders even of babies and little children. For this person to pray about the death of the 'holy innocents,' contemporaries of the baby Jesus, triggered these memories. The international World Court in the Hague is trying to put on trial some of the top political figures here in Kenya for such crimes, charging them with inciting these riots.
I am happy to say that this same woman whose mother died so dramatically wrote a letter to her mother now in the next life and presumably in heaven. The letter was just wonderful, giving evidence of much healing and freedom to relate to her mother AS her mother is NOW. She claimed the promise of the resurrection and experienced some of its power. It was so good to see her be able to move to this place, for the peace and joy of her soul and to re-connect with her mother and no longer be stuck in the past with just memories.
What I describe above illustrates what is my main work here in Nairobi. My job, my ministry, is to listen to people, most of them speaking accented English, some of it very heavy, and I listen closely to the details of the stories told--wonderful, amazing experiences, involving the wonders of God moving in the souls of impressive people, generous people who come from 11 nations in a part of the world where life is often cruel and really rough. So I get to sit "front row center" to what God is doing in the depths of these people and I am in awe. I pinch myself at times that I am in Africa and not in the USA. I walk away from these conferences often speechless at what I am privileged to witness--convinced more than ever that the invisible world is much more real than the hectic outer, public world--that God is so real and so active, while so much of the hectic world is deaf and blind and superficial with respect to what God is doing and saying. I am so blessed. This has to be one of the richest if not THE richest of times in my life--rich in meaning, rich in the beauty and hope God offers to anyone wanting relationship with Him. There are times I "get a glimpse" of God, as if to look into God's eyes and simply rest there, to look deeply into God and allow God to do the same with me and then simply wonder in quiet at this Source of everything that is, this Being being so loving, so utterly good, so amazing. Do you ever wonder at the miracle of there not being nothing--or to put it more positively--amazed that there is anything at all and everything that is comes from this one and only Source whose joy it is to create and love us?? I sometimes suggest to retreatants who are ready for this to take time once they have said 'thank you' for all the gifts God has given to them, and to then just 'look steadily with love' at God, the giver of all these gifts. To look with love and allow one's self to be filled with wonder and simply BE there, rest there, being aware and losing one's self in that loving gaze: when anyone is willing to allow this to happen, to really want to pay attention to this Sacred Presence, then amazing things begin to happen in that person's life. It is worth everything!
It is that time of the year here when the jacaranda trees are all in bloom with their clusters of gorgeous light-colored purple bells filling out their branches. The display of such beauty is breathtaking! We will have these trees in full bloom for the next two months.
The public school teachers in Kenya have been on strike for two weeks now. The Supreme Court ruled in their favor for a 50-60% pay hike. The president says the nation does not have the money. The teachers say there is the money but it is being spent on other things less important. The teachers are angry with previous promises of pay hikes, when they ended their strike and then when they returned to the classrooms those having made the promises of a pay hike reneged. These people lost the trust of the teachers. So both sides are digging in. To be continued. In the meantime, the kids sit and the parents are stressed.
It has gotten noticeably milder at night-time during these last two weeks. I like that. Spring is just a week away. El Nino is supposed to hit very hard here and in Uganda (the nation to the west of us) during October with damaging rains. We shall see!
My roses are doing well. Some bushes in our residence area are filled with roses and grow seven feet high; they send out 15 or more blooms--deep red and pink ones mainly. We have one rose bush that puts out so many perfect yellow blooms. I walk over to it, stare, and shake my head in wonder. I never get tired of looking at such perfect flowers. One of our hired hands makes bouquets to place in front of a wooden statue of Mary holding high her infant son. She cuts some of these roses and adds white cana lily blossoms and bits of flaming red calla lily tops. The collection is very well done, so pretty!
I need to move on and get ready for bed. Enjoy viewing the coverage of the pope's visit. It will be covered here on EWTN . And then on November 26 we get to meet him in person here in Nairobi! Pray for peace! It seems so elusive in the Middle East!
God bless!
Bernie Owens
