Dear Friends,
I write at 8 PM on Tuesday, the 15th. I has been at least two weeks since I last wrote. these last two weeks have been really fatiguing, with little or no time to write on this blogsite. This morning our retreat centre said 'goodbye' to 27 people who spent the last month here making the famous 30-day personally guided retreat according to the Spiritual Exercises composed by Ignatius of Loyola, the founder of the Jesuits (died 1556). I guided three of them, all women religious, two from the congregation called the Missionaries of Charity, founded by Mother Teresa of Calcutta. I am emotionally spent from listening to the profound and deep sharings of these women each day. With each day the content became progressively deeper, some of it emotionally wrenching and exhausting for me. I cannot listen to such without taking on some of the feelings of the person telling their story.
One other element that is taxing is to be listening to a heavy accent, Kenyan or French. And when the conferences go the full 45 minutes and are back to back, I get exhausted. So on Saturday eve, I slept 9 hours, then two hours Sunday afternoon and another 9 hours Sunday night. Last night I slept my usual 8 hours and still felt wiped out after lunch today. It is my brain especially that feels tired from working so hard mentally, and then, as I said, with the emotions mixed in with what people were saying. I need to work out on the treadmill and stationery bike, to breathe deeply!! That is what will get the brain to relax!
One person processed the death and the 3.5 year dying process of her mother. The final hours of her mother's death were so vividly remembered and such memories triggered by her praying on Mary, the mother of Jesus, being at her son's execution and witnessing so much blood being shed--so too this woman seeing her mother hemorrhage so suddenly and heavily at the moment of her dying! She just lost it emotionally this time and then again when praying on the slaughter of the infants by Herod in an attempt to kill the Christ-child. The horrendous killings during the 2007 election here in Kenya and the murderous anger on the part of the dominant tribe toward the other major tribe that had been given large chunks of the dominant tribe's lands by the government some decades before boiled over and led to mass murders even of babies and little children. For this person to pray about the death of the 'holy innocents,' contemporaries of the baby Jesus, triggered these memories. The international World Court in the Hague is trying to put on trial some of the top political figures here in Kenya for such crimes, charging them with inciting these riots.
I am happy to say that this same woman whose mother died so dramatically wrote a letter to her mother now in the next life and presumably in heaven. The letter was just wonderful, giving evidence of much healing and freedom to relate to her mother AS her mother is NOW. She claimed the promise of the resurrection and experienced some of its power. It was so good to see her be able to move to this place, for the peace and joy of her soul and to re-connect with her mother and no longer be stuck in the past with just memories.
What I describe above illustrates what is my main work here in Nairobi. My job, my ministry, is to listen to people, most of them speaking accented English, some of it very heavy, and I listen closely to the details of the stories told--wonderful, amazing experiences, involving the wonders of God moving in the souls of impressive people, generous people who come from 11 nations in a part of the world where life is often cruel and really rough. So I get to sit "front row center" to what God is doing in the depths of these people and I am in awe. I pinch myself at times that I am in Africa and not in the USA. I walk away from these conferences often speechless at what I am privileged to witness--convinced more than ever that the invisible world is much more real than the hectic outer, public world--that God is so real and so active, while so much of the hectic world is deaf and blind and superficial with respect to what God is doing and saying. I am so blessed. This has to be one of the richest if not THE richest of times in my life--rich in meaning, rich in the beauty and hope God offers to anyone wanting relationship with Him. There are times I "get a glimpse" of God, as if to look into God's eyes and simply rest there, to look deeply into God and allow God to do the same with me and then simply wonder in quiet at this Source of everything that is, this Being being so loving, so utterly good, so amazing. Do you ever wonder at the miracle of there not being nothing--or to put it more positively--amazed that there is anything at all and everything that is comes from this one and only Source whose joy it is to create and love us?? I sometimes suggest to retreatants who are ready for this to take time once they have said 'thank you' for all the gifts God has given to them, and to then just 'look steadily with love' at God, the giver of all these gifts. To look with love and allow one's self to be filled with wonder and simply BE there, rest there, being aware and losing one's self in that loving gaze: when anyone is willing to allow this to happen, to really want to pay attention to this Sacred Presence, then amazing things begin to happen in that person's life. It is worth everything!
It is that time of the year here when the jacaranda trees are all in bloom with their clusters of gorgeous light-colored purple bells filling out their branches. The display of such beauty is breathtaking! We will have these trees in full bloom for the next two months.
The public school teachers in Kenya have been on strike for two weeks now. The Supreme Court ruled in their favor for a 50-60% pay hike. The president says the nation does not have the money. The teachers say there is the money but it is being spent on other things less important. The teachers are angry with previous promises of pay hikes, when they ended their strike and then when they returned to the classrooms those having made the promises of a pay hike reneged. These people lost the trust of the teachers. So both sides are digging in. To be continued. In the meantime, the kids sit and the parents are stressed.
It has gotten noticeably milder at night-time during these last two weeks. I like that. Spring is just a week away. El Nino is supposed to hit very hard here and in Uganda (the nation to the west of us) during October with damaging rains. We shall see!
My roses are doing well. Some bushes in our residence area are filled with roses and grow seven feet high; they send out 15 or more blooms--deep red and pink ones mainly. We have one rose bush that puts out so many perfect yellow blooms. I walk over to it, stare, and shake my head in wonder. I never get tired of looking at such perfect flowers. One of our hired hands makes bouquets to place in front of a wooden statue of Mary holding high her infant son. She cuts some of these roses and adds white cana lily blossoms and bits of flaming red calla lily tops. The collection is very well done, so pretty!
I need to move on and get ready for bed. Enjoy viewing the coverage of the pope's visit. It will be covered here on EWTN . And then on November 26 we get to meet him in person here in Nairobi! Pray for peace! It seems so elusive in the Middle East!
God bless!
Bernie Owens
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Sunday, August 30, 2015
Good evening, friends,
Three hours ago, around 6 PM we received a heavy rain, the first in many weeks. My roses love this, even after I "pailed" much water to them yesterday afternoon. We even lost electrical power for about 1.5 hours, a not infrequent experience in this country. We ate dinner by faint candle light!
Well, lots to share with you.
I had my first class for my course last Wednesday. With about 55 students in all and eight offerings before them, six chose my option: "Prayer Beyond the Beginnings: Moving from Meditation to Contemplation." I have two students from southern India, one from Burundi, one from Rwanda (remember that name??), one from Uganda, and one from Zambia. It is a wonderful mix. We sit in a big circle and I have a chalk board behind me with much space to write on. I gave them numerous xeroxed handouts, mostly on stages of growth in prayer and intimacy with God, then too diagrams on levels of the human soul and its various functions that operate or get sidelined, so to speak, as one progresses to deeper levels of prayer and relationship with God. I sensed much interest. We shall see how much real interest there is when we meet again this coming Wednesday morning and I start asking questions about what they read.
Then yesterday we received the wonderful news that Pope Francis is coming to Kenya in the week of American Thanksgiving and will visit our Jesuit sponsored parish, St. Joseph the Worker, on Thursday the 26th, which is Thanksgiving Day in the USA. I m sure the security efforts will be huge. When asked what he wanted to see and visit here, he said "the slums." Our parish is for people who live in very poor circumstances. So, I am expecting to shake hands with him, probably as one of many in a line wanting to greet him. This will be one week after I see him in a large crowd in Rome at the Paul VI auditorium. I will be leading about 33-35 pilgrims on a two week trip in Italy (November 7-21). On Wednesday, the 18th, we will attend his Wed. morning audience. Even though he reads English rather poorly, I intend to give him an autographed copy of my book. I hope to do that through the apostolic nuncio (an American priest) or his secretary, Fr. Lombardi, also a Jesuit.
I am presently leading four retreatants, three of them for thirty days. I see each of them up to 45 minutes a day. One is a priest and prison chaplain whose English is very difficult to understand. The other three are sisters, two of them members of Mother Teresa's Missionaries of Charity (one is French, the other Kenyan). The three making the 30-day retreat are having fabulous retreats. I am often very moved by what they tell me about what happened to them during their prayer. God is deeply touching them and I am privileged to witness closely this holy drama. Yesterday the three sisters were praying on the holy Family's flight from the murderous monster Herod into Egypt. This vividly reminded one of the sisters of what happened here in Kenya during the national elections of 2007. She became quite emotional when telling these memories and recounted the many killings that happened by members of the dominant tribe (Kikuyus) toward members of the second largest tribe (the Louos). She said people were running into the woods and highlands to survive. Many people were being hidden in homes or bused far away. Those who did not make it out were slashed to death by crazed people with large machette knives, and the severed heads of some victims were placed on the highways to warn others in cars not to come into their towns. ( I have twice visited the area wherer this happened--Naiviasha and Mount Longunut) She repeated often, "All they wanted was power and dominance." The international court in the Hague, in Holland, has been trying to prosecute some present Kenyan government leaders over these atrocities. It is amazing how some witnesses die violently or change their stories or just disappear. The present president has been let go by the court, but the VP is still subject to legal prosecution. (By the way, the USA is not subject to prosecution by the world court; it never 'signed on' to that world court), even when some think some US leaders in our history deserved to stand trial!)
It is bedtime. I need to get my 8 hours of sleep or I end up dragging myself through the next day! I will be up at 6:15 AM. Got to go.
Bernie Owens
Three hours ago, around 6 PM we received a heavy rain, the first in many weeks. My roses love this, even after I "pailed" much water to them yesterday afternoon. We even lost electrical power for about 1.5 hours, a not infrequent experience in this country. We ate dinner by faint candle light!
Well, lots to share with you.
I had my first class for my course last Wednesday. With about 55 students in all and eight offerings before them, six chose my option: "Prayer Beyond the Beginnings: Moving from Meditation to Contemplation." I have two students from southern India, one from Burundi, one from Rwanda (remember that name??), one from Uganda, and one from Zambia. It is a wonderful mix. We sit in a big circle and I have a chalk board behind me with much space to write on. I gave them numerous xeroxed handouts, mostly on stages of growth in prayer and intimacy with God, then too diagrams on levels of the human soul and its various functions that operate or get sidelined, so to speak, as one progresses to deeper levels of prayer and relationship with God. I sensed much interest. We shall see how much real interest there is when we meet again this coming Wednesday morning and I start asking questions about what they read.
Then yesterday we received the wonderful news that Pope Francis is coming to Kenya in the week of American Thanksgiving and will visit our Jesuit sponsored parish, St. Joseph the Worker, on Thursday the 26th, which is Thanksgiving Day in the USA. I m sure the security efforts will be huge. When asked what he wanted to see and visit here, he said "the slums." Our parish is for people who live in very poor circumstances. So, I am expecting to shake hands with him, probably as one of many in a line wanting to greet him. This will be one week after I see him in a large crowd in Rome at the Paul VI auditorium. I will be leading about 33-35 pilgrims on a two week trip in Italy (November 7-21). On Wednesday, the 18th, we will attend his Wed. morning audience. Even though he reads English rather poorly, I intend to give him an autographed copy of my book. I hope to do that through the apostolic nuncio (an American priest) or his secretary, Fr. Lombardi, also a Jesuit.
I am presently leading four retreatants, three of them for thirty days. I see each of them up to 45 minutes a day. One is a priest and prison chaplain whose English is very difficult to understand. The other three are sisters, two of them members of Mother Teresa's Missionaries of Charity (one is French, the other Kenyan). The three making the 30-day retreat are having fabulous retreats. I am often very moved by what they tell me about what happened to them during their prayer. God is deeply touching them and I am privileged to witness closely this holy drama. Yesterday the three sisters were praying on the holy Family's flight from the murderous monster Herod into Egypt. This vividly reminded one of the sisters of what happened here in Kenya during the national elections of 2007. She became quite emotional when telling these memories and recounted the many killings that happened by members of the dominant tribe (Kikuyus) toward members of the second largest tribe (the Louos). She said people were running into the woods and highlands to survive. Many people were being hidden in homes or bused far away. Those who did not make it out were slashed to death by crazed people with large machette knives, and the severed heads of some victims were placed on the highways to warn others in cars not to come into their towns. ( I have twice visited the area wherer this happened--Naiviasha and Mount Longunut) She repeated often, "All they wanted was power and dominance." The international court in the Hague, in Holland, has been trying to prosecute some present Kenyan government leaders over these atrocities. It is amazing how some witnesses die violently or change their stories or just disappear. The present president has been let go by the court, but the VP is still subject to legal prosecution. (By the way, the USA is not subject to prosecution by the world court; it never 'signed on' to that world court), even when some think some US leaders in our history deserved to stand trial!)
It is bedtime. I need to get my 8 hours of sleep or I end up dragging myself through the next day! I will be up at 6:15 AM. Got to go.
Bernie Owens
Sunday, August 23, 2015
Good evening, everyone. I write on Sunday evening, the 23rd of August, right after a substantial dinner. I want to write especially this evening since at 6 PM about an hour and a half ago, I marked two years exactly since I arrived in Nairobi, Kenya, East Africa. This was to be where I would now live and work, with so much I could not guess would happen. I look back today with unceasing wonderment at what led up to this transition, this calling, and all that has happened since I came here. I cannot get over what I am being shown about this part of the world through the stories of those coming here on retreat.
I am being shown some amazing people who really fight for life, who struggle against great odds, who live all the time just trying to survive, they and their extended families. This is the usual, not the exceptional situation in most of the villages of this part of the world. I meet the reality of polygamy, of witchcraft, of governmental corruption (bribery,swindling and death threats), the utter inadequacy of the justice and policing systems. I meet the reality of the HIV virus and AIDs infected adults and babies, so too a lot of unemployment and hopelessness. I hear about murdered siblings and never-ending war nearby, raids and assassinations in the name of religion, starvation and severe malnutrition in the desert-like north of this country, alcoholism and domestic abuse on a big scale, sudden deaths thanks to so many car accidents on the terribly inadequate roads of this nation, fights between families over who rightly owns a plot of land and how the losers lose everything, burnt out usually, with now no place to live.
I also hear stories of terrific parents going to great ends to keep their families together, stories of great tenderness between parents and children, healings, reconciliations, celebrations with great joy and love for family-togetherness, the generosity of a family member who gets a job and provides for the rest of the family who have no jobs, then too stories of heroic nuns--so many of them-- running schools and orphanages, hospitals and medical dispensaries also. Any order and hope in this part of the world would collapse without the quality presence of these women. They make Christianity truly credible, so impressive and attractive, the vision of Jesus come alive, I am privileged to hear their stories and guide their annual 8-day or 30-day retreats.
I love the opportunity I have to teach one course a semester at the nearby Jesuit seminary, only 9 miles from here yet more than an hour by car away during the morning commute. This semester I will teach a course entitled "Prayer Beyond the Beginnings: Moving from Meditation to Contemplation." (I start this coming Wednesday.) I get students, all of them future priests, from west Africa, southern Africa, and from this eastern part of Africa, Jesuits and non-Jesuits, also students from southern India. I feel privileged to have a hand in the development of these men who are in their late 20s and will be major leaders in the church of Africa and India for the next 40-50 years. I give them courses in spirituality, usually from a developmental perspective or with a system of stages of spiritual growth that help them understand how God leads us all and shapes our life if we allow such to God. Next semester I will offer a course entitled "The Humility and Foolishness of God: A Franciscan Perspective on God's overwhelming Love for Us". Besides insights from Francis of Assisi, I will use some insights from Teilhard de Chardin, the Jesuit 20th century paleontologist. I used some of these readings when at Manresa for the biweekly seminar and people "ate it up," so interesting were the readings and our discussions.
As spring approaches I am back to digging in my rose beds and fertilizing them with rabbit compost and bone meal and, of course, lot of water. The nights are not so cold as they were only two weeks ago, so things are beginning to grow. At the same time there is lots and lots of pollen in the air. This means a runny nose for me and lots of itching all over my body. My God, do I itch sometimes!! My back, my face, my ears, my arms, my neck, etc. I took a benadryl pill a few days ago to alleviate the itching and it left me so limp for many hours! All I could do is sleep! I took only one pill!! I think I will try taking half a pill the next time. I was awakened at 2 AM one night by the itching and it was then I took that pill. I have not taken another one because I have too much work to get done! But I scratch sometimes, even dig hard into my skin or rub my back over and over again, hard too, against a door jam just to get some relief. There are some parts of my back I cannot reach!!! After awhile the itching stops. In years past this would stop on its own when the pollen subsided after two or three weeks. You might imagine all the flowers around here! The bees are so active, and we eat a lot of honey here.
I have mentioned before the inspiration I have had to write a second book. That inspiration has gotten noticeably stronger and I have been taking lots of notes for it from what I have been reading. I feel rather sure that the title of the book will be, as stated on the front cover: "If Only You Knew the Gift of God and . . . (in the lower part of the book's front cover) the Way Through the Narrow Gate." In it I want to talk about what leads up to the fundamental conversion moment for a person who truly wants relationship with God, who is willing to work at getting to know and love God, who can learn to let go and let God give this awesome gift and thereby take him or her through what Jesus calls the narrow gate, a way of significant discipline and sacrifice for the sake of that relationship. And then an extensive description of what it is like on the other side of that gate, the riches of such a friendship and love that surpasses anything we could have hoped for, with a sweetness for the person's soul that makes every other joy pale in comparison. I suppose it will take me two to three years to write this so that it is good enough to be published. (I had to do dozens of re-writes on the text of the book I recently published! Oh the painful memories about that!!) I am counting on living at least that long!!
I need to head off to bed. Be well. I have enjoyed typing this and telling you something of the latest from here. I wish all of you could see this place. I stared today out my window at a Poinsietta bush all in bloom with dozens of red blossoms, yes dozens. This bush is probably 30-35 feet high and 15 feet wide! It is stunning, and there are others bushes of them on our grounds. In Africa so many things are gigantic.
God bless!
Bernie Owens
I am being shown some amazing people who really fight for life, who struggle against great odds, who live all the time just trying to survive, they and their extended families. This is the usual, not the exceptional situation in most of the villages of this part of the world. I meet the reality of polygamy, of witchcraft, of governmental corruption (bribery,swindling and death threats), the utter inadequacy of the justice and policing systems. I meet the reality of the HIV virus and AIDs infected adults and babies, so too a lot of unemployment and hopelessness. I hear about murdered siblings and never-ending war nearby, raids and assassinations in the name of religion, starvation and severe malnutrition in the desert-like north of this country, alcoholism and domestic abuse on a big scale, sudden deaths thanks to so many car accidents on the terribly inadequate roads of this nation, fights between families over who rightly owns a plot of land and how the losers lose everything, burnt out usually, with now no place to live.
I also hear stories of terrific parents going to great ends to keep their families together, stories of great tenderness between parents and children, healings, reconciliations, celebrations with great joy and love for family-togetherness, the generosity of a family member who gets a job and provides for the rest of the family who have no jobs, then too stories of heroic nuns--so many of them-- running schools and orphanages, hospitals and medical dispensaries also. Any order and hope in this part of the world would collapse without the quality presence of these women. They make Christianity truly credible, so impressive and attractive, the vision of Jesus come alive, I am privileged to hear their stories and guide their annual 8-day or 30-day retreats.
I love the opportunity I have to teach one course a semester at the nearby Jesuit seminary, only 9 miles from here yet more than an hour by car away during the morning commute. This semester I will teach a course entitled "Prayer Beyond the Beginnings: Moving from Meditation to Contemplation." (I start this coming Wednesday.) I get students, all of them future priests, from west Africa, southern Africa, and from this eastern part of Africa, Jesuits and non-Jesuits, also students from southern India. I feel privileged to have a hand in the development of these men who are in their late 20s and will be major leaders in the church of Africa and India for the next 40-50 years. I give them courses in spirituality, usually from a developmental perspective or with a system of stages of spiritual growth that help them understand how God leads us all and shapes our life if we allow such to God. Next semester I will offer a course entitled "The Humility and Foolishness of God: A Franciscan Perspective on God's overwhelming Love for Us". Besides insights from Francis of Assisi, I will use some insights from Teilhard de Chardin, the Jesuit 20th century paleontologist. I used some of these readings when at Manresa for the biweekly seminar and people "ate it up," so interesting were the readings and our discussions.
As spring approaches I am back to digging in my rose beds and fertilizing them with rabbit compost and bone meal and, of course, lot of water. The nights are not so cold as they were only two weeks ago, so things are beginning to grow. At the same time there is lots and lots of pollen in the air. This means a runny nose for me and lots of itching all over my body. My God, do I itch sometimes!! My back, my face, my ears, my arms, my neck, etc. I took a benadryl pill a few days ago to alleviate the itching and it left me so limp for many hours! All I could do is sleep! I took only one pill!! I think I will try taking half a pill the next time. I was awakened at 2 AM one night by the itching and it was then I took that pill. I have not taken another one because I have too much work to get done! But I scratch sometimes, even dig hard into my skin or rub my back over and over again, hard too, against a door jam just to get some relief. There are some parts of my back I cannot reach!!! After awhile the itching stops. In years past this would stop on its own when the pollen subsided after two or three weeks. You might imagine all the flowers around here! The bees are so active, and we eat a lot of honey here.
I have mentioned before the inspiration I have had to write a second book. That inspiration has gotten noticeably stronger and I have been taking lots of notes for it from what I have been reading. I feel rather sure that the title of the book will be, as stated on the front cover: "If Only You Knew the Gift of God and . . . (in the lower part of the book's front cover) the Way Through the Narrow Gate." In it I want to talk about what leads up to the fundamental conversion moment for a person who truly wants relationship with God, who is willing to work at getting to know and love God, who can learn to let go and let God give this awesome gift and thereby take him or her through what Jesus calls the narrow gate, a way of significant discipline and sacrifice for the sake of that relationship. And then an extensive description of what it is like on the other side of that gate, the riches of such a friendship and love that surpasses anything we could have hoped for, with a sweetness for the person's soul that makes every other joy pale in comparison. I suppose it will take me two to three years to write this so that it is good enough to be published. (I had to do dozens of re-writes on the text of the book I recently published! Oh the painful memories about that!!) I am counting on living at least that long!!
I need to head off to bed. Be well. I have enjoyed typing this and telling you something of the latest from here. I wish all of you could see this place. I stared today out my window at a Poinsietta bush all in bloom with dozens of red blossoms, yes dozens. This bush is probably 30-35 feet high and 15 feet wide! It is stunning, and there are others bushes of them on our grounds. In Africa so many things are gigantic.
God bless!
Bernie Owens
Wednesday, August 5, 2015
Dear Reader,
Today was an unforgettable day for me. With the sun up in the sky we had here the usual 7 AM morning mass with about 12-14 attending, all staff members. Around the room were a few Kenyans, a Brazilian, some Indians, an Irish nun, myself, the lone American, and a 90 year old Indian leading the mass. It was a day for very, very special memories for me. 20 years ago this morning, I led a wedding for a Japanese man and American (Slovakian descent) woman. (Today they have four lovely children, one of whom is my godson, one other I baptized.) The wedding was on the first Saturday of August, 1995,on the weekend of the US wide commemoration of the 50th anniversary of the dropping of the atom bomb on Hiroshima, Japan. The groom's parents and some other relatives had come from Tokyo for the wedding. The women were dressed in elegant wraps (kimonas?) and their hair was done so attractively. The father of the groom, a Tokyo university professor of American literature, then teaching at New York University, stood proud. The bride's parents, close friends of mine, were beaming. The second of the three scripture readings was read in Japanese. All during the night there had been heavy thunderstorms and in the morning the sky was so black, as if it might pour rain again, maybe even yield a tornado. At the moment I began to read the gospel selection, the black clouds separated and shone through the chapel windows, right on the couple. I could hardly contain myself with such a happening. At no other place did the light of the sun shine. It was just amazing.
When it came to the homily I said that many magazines and newspapers, TV editorialists, etc. were giving their version of the significance of this major anniversary, but I had thought God was making His own very strong statement in regard to this anniversary. I said, "how typical of God to express Himself by what was taking place in this chapel this morning, by taking a man from one country and a woman from another country, where both countries had tried to destroy each other more than 50 years ago, and through committed human love would create love, peace, communion, healing and reconciliation--something that would transcend the hatred and horrible memories and pain of that war." And here we are, twenty years later and a happy, healthy daughter and three happy and healthy sons later, looking back at God's commitment to love, healing and reconciliation expressed this way. Truly remarkable. This is real spirituality!
And so today, the gospel reading (Matthew 15:21-28) was of a non-Jewish woman, a Canaanite, pestering, shouting at Jesus to help her with her very sick daughter. Jesus rebuffs here twice but finally relents when she will not go away. In fact, Jesus is truly surprised by her dogged faith implied in her persistence. He finally receives her and even complements her for her faith in God, the faith of a Gentile, and of course, He heals the daughter by driving out of the daughter the powers of evil that had gripped her. What was so strong for me in hearing this story once again was recognizing in her shouting the "echoes" of the many desperate voices of the poor in this part of the world as they yell for help and beg for some relenting of their misery.
So when the chalice of Christ's blood was lifted up during mass today, I was so struck by the joy of God on one hand in the wedding and 20 years of life of the couple, and so too the pain, the suffering of God on the other hand in the cries of today's poor. I was overwhelmed at mass today by the power of Christ's love shown in that moment with these two events on either side of the chalice as it was being lifted up for all to gaze at. What God is doing in the world is so, so beyond our expectations!! What God embraces as He walks with each and all of us is far more than any of us can grasp. Faith in such a Love, divine Love, opens the eyes of our heart to see what is not available to our physical eyes and gives us an indomitable hope.
Take care, and goodnite.
Bernie Owens
Today was an unforgettable day for me. With the sun up in the sky we had here the usual 7 AM morning mass with about 12-14 attending, all staff members. Around the room were a few Kenyans, a Brazilian, some Indians, an Irish nun, myself, the lone American, and a 90 year old Indian leading the mass. It was a day for very, very special memories for me. 20 years ago this morning, I led a wedding for a Japanese man and American (Slovakian descent) woman. (Today they have four lovely children, one of whom is my godson, one other I baptized.) The wedding was on the first Saturday of August, 1995,on the weekend of the US wide commemoration of the 50th anniversary of the dropping of the atom bomb on Hiroshima, Japan. The groom's parents and some other relatives had come from Tokyo for the wedding. The women were dressed in elegant wraps (kimonas?) and their hair was done so attractively. The father of the groom, a Tokyo university professor of American literature, then teaching at New York University, stood proud. The bride's parents, close friends of mine, were beaming. The second of the three scripture readings was read in Japanese. All during the night there had been heavy thunderstorms and in the morning the sky was so black, as if it might pour rain again, maybe even yield a tornado. At the moment I began to read the gospel selection, the black clouds separated and shone through the chapel windows, right on the couple. I could hardly contain myself with such a happening. At no other place did the light of the sun shine. It was just amazing.
When it came to the homily I said that many magazines and newspapers, TV editorialists, etc. were giving their version of the significance of this major anniversary, but I had thought God was making His own very strong statement in regard to this anniversary. I said, "how typical of God to express Himself by what was taking place in this chapel this morning, by taking a man from one country and a woman from another country, where both countries had tried to destroy each other more than 50 years ago, and through committed human love would create love, peace, communion, healing and reconciliation--something that would transcend the hatred and horrible memories and pain of that war." And here we are, twenty years later and a happy, healthy daughter and three happy and healthy sons later, looking back at God's commitment to love, healing and reconciliation expressed this way. Truly remarkable. This is real spirituality!
And so today, the gospel reading (Matthew 15:21-28) was of a non-Jewish woman, a Canaanite, pestering, shouting at Jesus to help her with her very sick daughter. Jesus rebuffs here twice but finally relents when she will not go away. In fact, Jesus is truly surprised by her dogged faith implied in her persistence. He finally receives her and even complements her for her faith in God, the faith of a Gentile, and of course, He heals the daughter by driving out of the daughter the powers of evil that had gripped her. What was so strong for me in hearing this story once again was recognizing in her shouting the "echoes" of the many desperate voices of the poor in this part of the world as they yell for help and beg for some relenting of their misery.
So when the chalice of Christ's blood was lifted up during mass today, I was so struck by the joy of God on one hand in the wedding and 20 years of life of the couple, and so too the pain, the suffering of God on the other hand in the cries of today's poor. I was overwhelmed at mass today by the power of Christ's love shown in that moment with these two events on either side of the chalice as it was being lifted up for all to gaze at. What God is doing in the world is so, so beyond our expectations!! What God embraces as He walks with each and all of us is far more than any of us can grasp. Faith in such a Love, divine Love, opens the eyes of our heart to see what is not available to our physical eyes and gives us an indomitable hope.
Take care, and goodnite.
Bernie Owens
Thursday, July 30, 2015
HI, Friends,
Things are acting up here. It is almost dinner time (which is 6:45 PM) and it took me a long time to get through so I could post a new letter on this blogsite. anyway, here I am. This morning we finished with our more than 50 retreatants. They all went home after being here for 8 full days, nine nights, most if not all really happy--certainly mine were, or I should say 4 of the 5 were. I want to add a little to what I wrote two days ago about "Sister Anna," a fictitious name for one retreatant, and another one whom I guided.
Sister Anna explained to me that her step-mother, the second wife of her father, gave birth to ten children, not just to two as I had said earlier. And the clan was not sure her father was the father of them all. In any case he claimed and gave a homelife to ten children in addition to the 10 or 11 from his first wife; having many children is a sign of power and influence. Some women like being married to a "powerful man with influence." They like the security that comes with it, so they are comfortable being married to such a man, even if they are one of numerous wives. Sister Anna said of her father, "More children means more votes when it comes time for being re-elected." At the same time she said this practice is becoming less prevalent in Kenya, even though one of her brothers recently took a second wife and this evoked much criticism in the family.
As her retreat came to an end and as she spent the last three days on Henri Nouwen's classic, "The Return of the Prodigal Son," she came up with brilliant insights about the dynamics in the family of the two sons and their father. She saw, by comparison, some very loving moments between herself and her father and said, "he initiated me into how to be as the father of the two sons, and this is what I now must do in my own family, in the spirit of that father. He taught me how to father, to mother my siblings, and now I am ready to do as he taught me." One touching memory she shared was when she was about 8 or 9 years old, she was invited by her father to go and fetch a spoon so that she could eat off the same plate he was eating from. She said, "I just loved to connect with my father this way." She also related how when she shared in the family that she was joining a religious order instead of getting married, many relatives and friends came to her father and strongly counseled him not to allow her to do that. She said he said, "the Lord gave, and the Lord takes. Let her do what she wants to do." She spoke with such loving gratitude for her father in that big moment in her life some 30 or so years ago.
So over the 8 days this woman came to so much healing , peace with and renewed love for her father who now, as she said, is in the resurrection, forgiven by the Lord. Death ends a life but not the relationship!! It is better than ever! Oh, the power of reconciliation!
Another retreatant was also a nun celebrating two weeks from now her jubilee, 25 years in her religious family She is a nurse by profession and works largely with patients who have the HIV virus. She is also at times a nurse on duty to tend to the babies born of HIV infected mothers. She mentioned to me how much joy she witnesses and shares in with patients who were experiencing much improved health thanks to the anti-AIDs medicines they were taking. "Also," she said, " so much joy in finding many of the infants to be free from the virus," even though their mothers are infected. What was so remarkable with this impressive Kenyan nun was how God led her during her retreat to a new depth in prayer, being free to be very present to God, without thinking, imagining, or remembering . . . simply being quiet in the present moment with her eyes closed and attentive to the Lord who was so beautifully present to her. Four times a day for about an hour each time she would pray this way and exclaimed to me, "I have never prayed this way before nor have I prayed as deeply as this has taken me." Wow, I was so happy for her and again amazed when witnessing how powerfully God was acting in her. It was so, so beautiful to see her this lifted up and brought this close to God. She truly has been given the gift of contemplative prayer. What a privilege and gift for me to witness this sacred event in her life.
I learned at the dinner table this evening that the woman religious who was our nurse here at Mwangaza for about six months and was transferred just five weeks ago to a community near the Somali border east of here by about 250 miles, had the community living quarters for herself and fellow sisters burned to the ground. Of course, everyone suspects pro-Al Shabaab Muslims living in that area of doing this. We shall hear about who for sure did this in the next few days, I trust. All the sisters were away when this happened. None of them got hurt.
I have a Jesuit friend, an Austrian, who is today going to Germany for some medical help. In the meantime he says he will be trying to get my book translated into German. He says he knows someone who can do this. He was with us for about 10 days and during that time read all of my book. He loved it, especially chapter 6 on suffering and loss. Next summer one of the Jesuits in this community will be going back to Chile for three months and plans to stop over in Madrid on his way there. He wants to get it translated into Spanish by someone he knows in Madrid. Wouldn't this be nice!!
I need to go. Tomorrow, the 31st, is the feast of St. Ignatius of Loyola, our founder. He died in 1556. What a legacy he left!! Join me, please, in thanking God for so many blessings through the Jesuit family. Thanks. (Oh, is the full moon striking in our evening's sky here!)
Bernie Owens
Things are acting up here. It is almost dinner time (which is 6:45 PM) and it took me a long time to get through so I could post a new letter on this blogsite. anyway, here I am. This morning we finished with our more than 50 retreatants. They all went home after being here for 8 full days, nine nights, most if not all really happy--certainly mine were, or I should say 4 of the 5 were. I want to add a little to what I wrote two days ago about "Sister Anna," a fictitious name for one retreatant, and another one whom I guided.
Sister Anna explained to me that her step-mother, the second wife of her father, gave birth to ten children, not just to two as I had said earlier. And the clan was not sure her father was the father of them all. In any case he claimed and gave a homelife to ten children in addition to the 10 or 11 from his first wife; having many children is a sign of power and influence. Some women like being married to a "powerful man with influence." They like the security that comes with it, so they are comfortable being married to such a man, even if they are one of numerous wives. Sister Anna said of her father, "More children means more votes when it comes time for being re-elected." At the same time she said this practice is becoming less prevalent in Kenya, even though one of her brothers recently took a second wife and this evoked much criticism in the family.
As her retreat came to an end and as she spent the last three days on Henri Nouwen's classic, "The Return of the Prodigal Son," she came up with brilliant insights about the dynamics in the family of the two sons and their father. She saw, by comparison, some very loving moments between herself and her father and said, "he initiated me into how to be as the father of the two sons, and this is what I now must do in my own family, in the spirit of that father. He taught me how to father, to mother my siblings, and now I am ready to do as he taught me." One touching memory she shared was when she was about 8 or 9 years old, she was invited by her father to go and fetch a spoon so that she could eat off the same plate he was eating from. She said, "I just loved to connect with my father this way." She also related how when she shared in the family that she was joining a religious order instead of getting married, many relatives and friends came to her father and strongly counseled him not to allow her to do that. She said he said, "the Lord gave, and the Lord takes. Let her do what she wants to do." She spoke with such loving gratitude for her father in that big moment in her life some 30 or so years ago.
So over the 8 days this woman came to so much healing , peace with and renewed love for her father who now, as she said, is in the resurrection, forgiven by the Lord. Death ends a life but not the relationship!! It is better than ever! Oh, the power of reconciliation!
Another retreatant was also a nun celebrating two weeks from now her jubilee, 25 years in her religious family She is a nurse by profession and works largely with patients who have the HIV virus. She is also at times a nurse on duty to tend to the babies born of HIV infected mothers. She mentioned to me how much joy she witnesses and shares in with patients who were experiencing much improved health thanks to the anti-AIDs medicines they were taking. "Also," she said, " so much joy in finding many of the infants to be free from the virus," even though their mothers are infected. What was so remarkable with this impressive Kenyan nun was how God led her during her retreat to a new depth in prayer, being free to be very present to God, without thinking, imagining, or remembering . . . simply being quiet in the present moment with her eyes closed and attentive to the Lord who was so beautifully present to her. Four times a day for about an hour each time she would pray this way and exclaimed to me, "I have never prayed this way before nor have I prayed as deeply as this has taken me." Wow, I was so happy for her and again amazed when witnessing how powerfully God was acting in her. It was so, so beautiful to see her this lifted up and brought this close to God. She truly has been given the gift of contemplative prayer. What a privilege and gift for me to witness this sacred event in her life.
I learned at the dinner table this evening that the woman religious who was our nurse here at Mwangaza for about six months and was transferred just five weeks ago to a community near the Somali border east of here by about 250 miles, had the community living quarters for herself and fellow sisters burned to the ground. Of course, everyone suspects pro-Al Shabaab Muslims living in that area of doing this. We shall hear about who for sure did this in the next few days, I trust. All the sisters were away when this happened. None of them got hurt.
I have a Jesuit friend, an Austrian, who is today going to Germany for some medical help. In the meantime he says he will be trying to get my book translated into German. He says he knows someone who can do this. He was with us for about 10 days and during that time read all of my book. He loved it, especially chapter 6 on suffering and loss. Next summer one of the Jesuits in this community will be going back to Chile for three months and plans to stop over in Madrid on his way there. He wants to get it translated into Spanish by someone he knows in Madrid. Wouldn't this be nice!!
I need to go. Tomorrow, the 31st, is the feast of St. Ignatius of Loyola, our founder. He died in 1556. What a legacy he left!! Join me, please, in thanking God for so many blessings through the Jesuit family. Thanks. (Oh, is the full moon striking in our evening's sky here!)
Bernie Owens
Monday, July 27, 2015
Greetings, Friends,
I have planned twice in the last five days to write something here, only to have our connection to the Internet go off and no electricity at all during much of the daytime. What frustration around here with Kenya Electric. They have no competition, but enjoy a monopoly in supplying electricity in this nation. And you know what that leads to: laziness, no real push to improve the quality of their service. BAHHHH! It makes me appreciate the trustworthiness of the power service provided in the US.
Last Tuesday evening we had a new group of retreatants come here for eight days, 54 or 55 of them. They will finish this coming Thursday morning. I am guiding five of them. We have 10 directors, some taking up to 6 or even 7 retreatants. That is a lot of listening, up to 45 minutes for each person!! I realized as I began that I have not directed anyone in a retreat here at Mwangaza since early March before I returned to the States. That is more than 5 months. Wow, a long dry spell! I will say that I have been deeply touched by the stories and what has been happening in the retreats of these people I am guiding! What a privilege to witness God's workings in these people. I so wish many Americans with such busy lifestyles and sometimes frenetic activity characterizing their days would make themselves available for such. It could be life-changing, but of course, I am reminded that many people really do not want to change their life-style, that getting close to God and having a vital relationship with God is not a priority for them. And so their spiritual life is rather feeble, and their awareness of and response to God are hardly a part of their life. As one tastes the gifts of God and the indescribable goodness and lovableness of God, it leave you shaking your head at how many have no idea what they are missing out on. In various formats this is available to everyone, yet many say "I'd rather be sailing, " or "I just don't have the time nor money for that," oftentimes meaning they are not that interested or just plainly fear God and where God might take them if they got close.
I wish to describe briefly one such retreatant and tell a little of what has happened to her during this retreat. There is no way any of you would ever know who I am talking about, so I feel the freedom to share something of what God has done in her these past five days, with three yet to go. It is a story of extraordinary reconciliation.
Sister Anna, I will call her, is one of eleven children, the first daughter to be born after four brothers. When Sister was about 10 years old, her father, having been elected to a government post and thereby having come into significant money, decided to take a second wife. There were now two mothers in this clan; two children came from the second wife. The second wife lived in a home nearby but separate from the family from the first mother. The tensions, the anger, the hurt were something else. The father/daughter relationship was full of pain, and the daughter, the future Sister Anna, strongly blamed her father for the chaos in their family. The second wife fought back, using even witchcraft to control and get even with her "step-children" who resented her presence.
Sometime after Sr. Anna entered the religious order she is a member of, her father took to being seriously ill. He expressed the desire to return to the sacraments of the church but died just before the pastor could do this for him. Still, he was given a church funeral and burial. When Sr Anna got word about her father's illness and eventual death, she did not leave her teaching responsibilities and travel back to her village. She was so torn, so conflicted. She did manage to get herself to join her family during the wake but could not bring herself to stay for the funeral. While her father's funeral mass was going on, she was back here in Nairobi engaged in her work.
On the first day I met with Sr. Anna, I introduced myself and asked her what she wanted to happen for herself during the coming 8-days. Immediately she began talking about her father, and talked a lot! I could hear in her story an affection for her father, a grieving for something big that she had lost in her life, a sadness about how she had handled her broken heart, about not going to her father's funeral, and missing what she once had with her father during her first 10 years. There is a certain toughness, a strong persona in her personality, and this made her hold back many emotions when in my presence. Later, when alone with God, she let much of these feelings go, thank God! She opened up greatly.
Intuitively, I saw an opening in her, a readiness to deal seriously with her state of soul. I loaned to her two pictures, one of a woman curled up, almost in a fetal position, in a dark dungeon, with her back to an opening in one of the walls of the dungeon. She had great apprehension on her face. Coming in the opening of the dungeon was the hand of the risen Jesus extended to this woman, inviting her to come out. The picture showed only the hand of Jesus, nothing more of his body. The other picture is a painting or copy of a mural of the risen Jesus with a nun (St. Margaret Mary Alacoque) knelling with great awe before Him, with total attention. Shining through His wounds (his two hands, two feet and side) were shafts of intense light, obviously a hint of His divinity flooding through His wounds of love. His whole body was shrouded in circular patterns of red, orange and yellow, expressive of the overwhelming power of God's love shown in Jesus risen. I gave these pictures for her to pray with, to look at closely, and to "find" herself in and through them.
She spent a half day with the first picture, owned herself to be in that dungeon of anger and hurt and self-pity, frozen in spirit, unable to reconcile. With the second picture she spent a half day and grew to feel a great desire to break out, to finally get free from the slavery of her past and to come into the light of Jesus risen. She will be marking 25 years as a woman religious come August 15. It is meant to be a great, festive celebration for her and numerous other members of her community marking their Jubilee year. She did not want to stay in the dungeon as that day approaches. She begged for the power to break out her tomb and come home to God, to come into His glorious light and joy. And her prayer was answered. but let me not get ahead of myself in this account.
So the next day she spent in her room talking with both her father and Jesus present to her. It was an amazing trilogue. She heard and owned that she had blamed her father for the disunity and pain in the family, that she had to take responsibility for her own actions of contributing to family pain and disunity before setting herself over against him. This turned out to be a great "freeing" moment, a moment of father and daughter coming to peace and mutual forgiveness, She could now truly believe her father is in the resurrection, saved and freed by Jesus to be with Him forever, forgiven as only He can do. She had such gratitude for this moment, this gift.
Then in her prayer she turned her attention back to Jesus in His dying moments saying, "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing." She kept repeating this saying. And she gave her father the benefit of the doubt that in many ways he did not know what he was doing in taking the second wife (it is such a common action in this African culture that when men get money they take one or more additional wives. It is a sign of power and prestige for the man, and security for the woman. There is so much cultural pressure for men to do this. There is much polygamy in this culture, even among men who have been baptized and still want their children to be in the sacramental life of the Catholic church. They will come to church but sit in the back during Sunday mass or funerals. Many families resist any of their children becoming priests or nuns because family and having children are so highly regarded. To not have children is to be considered really odd and anti-family, anti-African. Family is everything here for most Africans.) I have found it very moving to witness this woman go through this process. There are few spiritual events as powerful or beautiful.
I then showed her two additional items, one a copy of a painting of St Francis of Assisi kissing the bleeding feet of Jesus crucified, with the nail marks clearly visible. All one can see in this picture are the lower legs and pierced feet of Jesus, with Francis in such tenderness and overwhelmed love showing gratitude and infinite care for Jesus. This picture was painted about 70 years after Francis' death. The other picture was a copy of Caravaggio's painting of the apostle Thomas being invited by the risen Jesus to place his finger into the open side of Jesus, pierced by the Roman soldier; to no longer be partially believing but truly believe and proclaim this Good News of the resurrection and reconciliation (which Thomas did with the rest of his life, going all the way to India to proclaim this amazing Jesus and the difference He makes in the lives of those who believe.) The details of this picture, the various shadings of light and dark, the emotion of the scene, the tension of that moment are so strong and riveting. Sr. Anna herself could not but be taken up into the power and tenderness of both pictures. She recognized the parallel between her own wounds and those of her father as well, over against the wounds of Jesus. It was truly powerful, so healing, so spiritually engaging for her. For her it made sense to bring her whole family, even the second women her father married, INTO the Heart of Jesus and allow Jesus, as only He can, to reconcile her family and care for each member. She said often, "I now know I am being sent by Him to go back to my family and be a caring presence for each and everyone of them, to love them and myself too as best I can, to accept them and myself as genuinely as I can, to not absent myself anymore from any of them." The power of God's mercy and how it cuts across so many seemingly impassible barriers, is very moving to witness. For the last three days of the retreat time, Sr. Anna is reading and pondering Henri Nouwen's classic, "The Return of the Prodigal Son." It is one of the greatest works ever written in English on reconciliation. She had said she wants to understand better her "mission" back to her family. I said to read this book of Nouwen and especially the role the father of that family of those two sons, namely, to be a constant presence of love, vulnerable, yes, to risk being taken advantage of, but steady with a love that can transcend personal hurts and can let the love of God flow through him in his forgiveness, trust, and unconditional love.
I need to stop there. I need to get some physical exercise this afternoon before our mass at 5:15 PM. I am so glad the internet came back around noon so that I could write this. God bless all who read this.
I am happy to close by saying the feedback I am receiving on my recently published book is most, most encouraging. One of these days I think the sales will really take off, probably after New Years when it gets advertised at two national bookmarts, one in Los Angeles and the other in Atlantic City.
Peace!
Bernie Owens
I have planned twice in the last five days to write something here, only to have our connection to the Internet go off and no electricity at all during much of the daytime. What frustration around here with Kenya Electric. They have no competition, but enjoy a monopoly in supplying electricity in this nation. And you know what that leads to: laziness, no real push to improve the quality of their service. BAHHHH! It makes me appreciate the trustworthiness of the power service provided in the US.
Last Tuesday evening we had a new group of retreatants come here for eight days, 54 or 55 of them. They will finish this coming Thursday morning. I am guiding five of them. We have 10 directors, some taking up to 6 or even 7 retreatants. That is a lot of listening, up to 45 minutes for each person!! I realized as I began that I have not directed anyone in a retreat here at Mwangaza since early March before I returned to the States. That is more than 5 months. Wow, a long dry spell! I will say that I have been deeply touched by the stories and what has been happening in the retreats of these people I am guiding! What a privilege to witness God's workings in these people. I so wish many Americans with such busy lifestyles and sometimes frenetic activity characterizing their days would make themselves available for such. It could be life-changing, but of course, I am reminded that many people really do not want to change their life-style, that getting close to God and having a vital relationship with God is not a priority for them. And so their spiritual life is rather feeble, and their awareness of and response to God are hardly a part of their life. As one tastes the gifts of God and the indescribable goodness and lovableness of God, it leave you shaking your head at how many have no idea what they are missing out on. In various formats this is available to everyone, yet many say "I'd rather be sailing, " or "I just don't have the time nor money for that," oftentimes meaning they are not that interested or just plainly fear God and where God might take them if they got close.
I wish to describe briefly one such retreatant and tell a little of what has happened to her during this retreat. There is no way any of you would ever know who I am talking about, so I feel the freedom to share something of what God has done in her these past five days, with three yet to go. It is a story of extraordinary reconciliation.
Sister Anna, I will call her, is one of eleven children, the first daughter to be born after four brothers. When Sister was about 10 years old, her father, having been elected to a government post and thereby having come into significant money, decided to take a second wife. There were now two mothers in this clan; two children came from the second wife. The second wife lived in a home nearby but separate from the family from the first mother. The tensions, the anger, the hurt were something else. The father/daughter relationship was full of pain, and the daughter, the future Sister Anna, strongly blamed her father for the chaos in their family. The second wife fought back, using even witchcraft to control and get even with her "step-children" who resented her presence.
Sometime after Sr. Anna entered the religious order she is a member of, her father took to being seriously ill. He expressed the desire to return to the sacraments of the church but died just before the pastor could do this for him. Still, he was given a church funeral and burial. When Sr Anna got word about her father's illness and eventual death, she did not leave her teaching responsibilities and travel back to her village. She was so torn, so conflicted. She did manage to get herself to join her family during the wake but could not bring herself to stay for the funeral. While her father's funeral mass was going on, she was back here in Nairobi engaged in her work.
On the first day I met with Sr. Anna, I introduced myself and asked her what she wanted to happen for herself during the coming 8-days. Immediately she began talking about her father, and talked a lot! I could hear in her story an affection for her father, a grieving for something big that she had lost in her life, a sadness about how she had handled her broken heart, about not going to her father's funeral, and missing what she once had with her father during her first 10 years. There is a certain toughness, a strong persona in her personality, and this made her hold back many emotions when in my presence. Later, when alone with God, she let much of these feelings go, thank God! She opened up greatly.
Intuitively, I saw an opening in her, a readiness to deal seriously with her state of soul. I loaned to her two pictures, one of a woman curled up, almost in a fetal position, in a dark dungeon, with her back to an opening in one of the walls of the dungeon. She had great apprehension on her face. Coming in the opening of the dungeon was the hand of the risen Jesus extended to this woman, inviting her to come out. The picture showed only the hand of Jesus, nothing more of his body. The other picture is a painting or copy of a mural of the risen Jesus with a nun (St. Margaret Mary Alacoque) knelling with great awe before Him, with total attention. Shining through His wounds (his two hands, two feet and side) were shafts of intense light, obviously a hint of His divinity flooding through His wounds of love. His whole body was shrouded in circular patterns of red, orange and yellow, expressive of the overwhelming power of God's love shown in Jesus risen. I gave these pictures for her to pray with, to look at closely, and to "find" herself in and through them.
She spent a half day with the first picture, owned herself to be in that dungeon of anger and hurt and self-pity, frozen in spirit, unable to reconcile. With the second picture she spent a half day and grew to feel a great desire to break out, to finally get free from the slavery of her past and to come into the light of Jesus risen. She will be marking 25 years as a woman religious come August 15. It is meant to be a great, festive celebration for her and numerous other members of her community marking their Jubilee year. She did not want to stay in the dungeon as that day approaches. She begged for the power to break out her tomb and come home to God, to come into His glorious light and joy. And her prayer was answered. but let me not get ahead of myself in this account.
So the next day she spent in her room talking with both her father and Jesus present to her. It was an amazing trilogue. She heard and owned that she had blamed her father for the disunity and pain in the family, that she had to take responsibility for her own actions of contributing to family pain and disunity before setting herself over against him. This turned out to be a great "freeing" moment, a moment of father and daughter coming to peace and mutual forgiveness, She could now truly believe her father is in the resurrection, saved and freed by Jesus to be with Him forever, forgiven as only He can do. She had such gratitude for this moment, this gift.
Then in her prayer she turned her attention back to Jesus in His dying moments saying, "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing." She kept repeating this saying. And she gave her father the benefit of the doubt that in many ways he did not know what he was doing in taking the second wife (it is such a common action in this African culture that when men get money they take one or more additional wives. It is a sign of power and prestige for the man, and security for the woman. There is so much cultural pressure for men to do this. There is much polygamy in this culture, even among men who have been baptized and still want their children to be in the sacramental life of the Catholic church. They will come to church but sit in the back during Sunday mass or funerals. Many families resist any of their children becoming priests or nuns because family and having children are so highly regarded. To not have children is to be considered really odd and anti-family, anti-African. Family is everything here for most Africans.) I have found it very moving to witness this woman go through this process. There are few spiritual events as powerful or beautiful.
I then showed her two additional items, one a copy of a painting of St Francis of Assisi kissing the bleeding feet of Jesus crucified, with the nail marks clearly visible. All one can see in this picture are the lower legs and pierced feet of Jesus, with Francis in such tenderness and overwhelmed love showing gratitude and infinite care for Jesus. This picture was painted about 70 years after Francis' death. The other picture was a copy of Caravaggio's painting of the apostle Thomas being invited by the risen Jesus to place his finger into the open side of Jesus, pierced by the Roman soldier; to no longer be partially believing but truly believe and proclaim this Good News of the resurrection and reconciliation (which Thomas did with the rest of his life, going all the way to India to proclaim this amazing Jesus and the difference He makes in the lives of those who believe.) The details of this picture, the various shadings of light and dark, the emotion of the scene, the tension of that moment are so strong and riveting. Sr. Anna herself could not but be taken up into the power and tenderness of both pictures. She recognized the parallel between her own wounds and those of her father as well, over against the wounds of Jesus. It was truly powerful, so healing, so spiritually engaging for her. For her it made sense to bring her whole family, even the second women her father married, INTO the Heart of Jesus and allow Jesus, as only He can, to reconcile her family and care for each member. She said often, "I now know I am being sent by Him to go back to my family and be a caring presence for each and everyone of them, to love them and myself too as best I can, to accept them and myself as genuinely as I can, to not absent myself anymore from any of them." The power of God's mercy and how it cuts across so many seemingly impassible barriers, is very moving to witness. For the last three days of the retreat time, Sr. Anna is reading and pondering Henri Nouwen's classic, "The Return of the Prodigal Son." It is one of the greatest works ever written in English on reconciliation. She had said she wants to understand better her "mission" back to her family. I said to read this book of Nouwen and especially the role the father of that family of those two sons, namely, to be a constant presence of love, vulnerable, yes, to risk being taken advantage of, but steady with a love that can transcend personal hurts and can let the love of God flow through him in his forgiveness, trust, and unconditional love.
I need to stop there. I need to get some physical exercise this afternoon before our mass at 5:15 PM. I am so glad the internet came back around noon so that I could write this. God bless all who read this.
I am happy to close by saying the feedback I am receiving on my recently published book is most, most encouraging. One of these days I think the sales will really take off, probably after New Years when it gets advertised at two national bookmarts, one in Los Angeles and the other in Atlantic City.
Peace!
Bernie Owens
Wednesday, July 15, 2015
Dear Friends,
Half way through July as of today, the 15th! Wow, time is flying fast!
I am feeling much improved, although my doctor can do no better with my acidic stomach than to give me a daily pill to neutralize my stomach. Tests confirmed my blood is fine, cholesterol is normal, EKG shows my heart is fine, further tests show no parasite or amoeba or aggressive bacteria inside me. My energy is back since increasing my physical exercise. (Oh why do I have to be pushed to do that, regularly??!!) Still, a week ago and soon after I returned from the States three weeks ago, I was hit with dull headaches in the back of my brain and a lot of sleepiness.
Today I had two Missionary of Charity sisters come to visit, each for an hour, one for spiritual direction, the other for supervision in her training to become a spiritual guide. One is from Italy, the other from France. Remarkable, truly admirable people they are. As sisters from what Mother Teresa of Calcutta started, they are most amazing. Our conversations were quite substantial and engaging. I felt we were talking about the most fundamental, vital issues in the entire spiritual walk. Just a pleasure to talk about their life with God and see in them such a thirst to live for God, to give everything to the great Love of their life.
I am very happy to say that the Study Week with the Carmelites last week went very, very well. thank you for anyone of you who prayed for us. I had as few as 32 and as many as 40 people attending. The core group were young male seminarians, in their late 20s. Then there were also a significant number of young sisters and some nuns in their later years. I think they were all amazed that a Jesuit was teaching them about the famous Carmelite, Teresa of Avila. One said I was a Carmelite under the cloak of a Jesuit. Ha! Tomorrow I am joining them at their invitation for their mass and big meal for their big feastday, Our Lady of Mount Carmel. I hope their food is better than what I experienced during the Study Week. I was so glad to come home to the food we have here. But what a great group of people. I truly enjoyed meeting them and discussing Teresa's works for five days.
The weather here now is rather cold, in the 50s or so at night with blustering winds too at times. July is our coldest month! The birds still come in numbers to my window sill as I feed them broken up pieces of white bread. What special friends they are, some of them with really strikingly colored feathers.
I don't have much to say beyond this, except to mention that a number of Kenyans are excited that Obama is coming to visit here a week from Friday. The pope too is supposed to come for a visit here, one or to days after American Thanksgiving, in late November.
OK, goodnight, friends.
Bernie Owens
Half way through July as of today, the 15th! Wow, time is flying fast!
I am feeling much improved, although my doctor can do no better with my acidic stomach than to give me a daily pill to neutralize my stomach. Tests confirmed my blood is fine, cholesterol is normal, EKG shows my heart is fine, further tests show no parasite or amoeba or aggressive bacteria inside me. My energy is back since increasing my physical exercise. (Oh why do I have to be pushed to do that, regularly??!!) Still, a week ago and soon after I returned from the States three weeks ago, I was hit with dull headaches in the back of my brain and a lot of sleepiness.
Today I had two Missionary of Charity sisters come to visit, each for an hour, one for spiritual direction, the other for supervision in her training to become a spiritual guide. One is from Italy, the other from France. Remarkable, truly admirable people they are. As sisters from what Mother Teresa of Calcutta started, they are most amazing. Our conversations were quite substantial and engaging. I felt we were talking about the most fundamental, vital issues in the entire spiritual walk. Just a pleasure to talk about their life with God and see in them such a thirst to live for God, to give everything to the great Love of their life.
I am very happy to say that the Study Week with the Carmelites last week went very, very well. thank you for anyone of you who prayed for us. I had as few as 32 and as many as 40 people attending. The core group were young male seminarians, in their late 20s. Then there were also a significant number of young sisters and some nuns in their later years. I think they were all amazed that a Jesuit was teaching them about the famous Carmelite, Teresa of Avila. One said I was a Carmelite under the cloak of a Jesuit. Ha! Tomorrow I am joining them at their invitation for their mass and big meal for their big feastday, Our Lady of Mount Carmel. I hope their food is better than what I experienced during the Study Week. I was so glad to come home to the food we have here. But what a great group of people. I truly enjoyed meeting them and discussing Teresa's works for five days.
The weather here now is rather cold, in the 50s or so at night with blustering winds too at times. July is our coldest month! The birds still come in numbers to my window sill as I feed them broken up pieces of white bread. What special friends they are, some of them with really strikingly colored feathers.
I don't have much to say beyond this, except to mention that a number of Kenyans are excited that Obama is coming to visit here a week from Friday. The pope too is supposed to come for a visit here, one or to days after American Thanksgiving, in late November.
OK, goodnight, friends.
Bernie Owens
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