Dear Friends,

  It is now the evening of June 30 and I feel inspired to write something I have found to be important to share, two stories, one heartbreaking and the other quite inspiring . . . so typical of Kenya.

   I am quoting a poem, free verse, of a not untypical teenage girl whose story is repeated too often.  Brace yourself.  This is grim.

                                                        CRY FOR JUSTICE

Welcome to my story, a story full of misery.  I am living in a society full of moral decay.  As I sit in this maternity ward I am writing this bitter letter, a letter full of pain as I cry for justice.

My father was my teacher, the pilot of my future, my role model.  And I was a perfect model of my father.  I gave my trust to him; he gave my life a hope.  He became my master and I became his humble apprentice.

But things began to change.  His life turned a new page.  It was hard for me to believe.  My father started drinking, drinking and smoking, smoking and abusing, abusing the . . . Bang. . . aah, my teacher became insane.

In this state of insanity my father killed his first born.  He sodomized his second born.  To make matters worse my father raped me.  And then, to my surprise, the doctor said I was pregnant.  Lastly, my father killed himself.

People, I am now in a maternity ward.  I am ready to give birth.  People, how will my child call my father??  Yet my father is also my child's father.  Will my child be my brother?  Will my child be my daughter??  My child's father is now dead.  Even if I go to court I will find no justice.

I will  have justice only when  society recovers from its insanity.  I will  have peace only when society embraces humanity.  Receive this red letter, a St. Aloysius lament, and spread it across Kenya.  I rest my case.

                                                               written by Florence Dushman Millicent

And then a second story . . . describing one of the people who comes here to make an 8-day retreat each year.

Sr. Willimena Ayan is a Kenyan Sister of Mercy who works in the Lokore village, 300 kilometers east of Lodwar, among the Turkana people in northern Kenya.  The region is known for it backwardness and lack of rains, as well as because of its recent social conflicts caused first by international companies drilling for oil and, second, by widespread cattle rustling among local groups.

Sr. Ayan teaches both math and science for grades 5-8 in a public Girls' primary school.  Her pupils are the daughters of poor Turkana parents, many of whom have lost their livestock to local groups of bandits.  Although the school has very poor facilities, no electricity supply or running water, the girls feel privileged to share a class with some 50 other classmates.  There they learn and also get--not always--a daily meal that their families cannot normally afford to offer.  St. Ayan is a Turkana herself and is very happy teaching these 300 girls at the Lokore village.  Despite the poor working conditions and lack of teaching means, she feels energized in her struggle to empower Turkana women.  "They are the future of our country," she says.

Sr. Ayan has been coming to Mwangaza to 'do' her 8-day annual retreat since she was  novice.  "I need to come to Mwangaza to pray in silence and quiet, so that I become more deeply aware of God's presence in my life and work among the Turkana poor, my people.  After these days, every year, I go back to resume my work among the poorest in northern Kenya full of hope and courage.  It is the Lord's doing," she adds.

I share these two stories to give you a snippet of life here in this young nation, to provide you a 'feel' for something of what God lives with all the time as well as some impressive Godly people.  I know when I participate in mass and the presider offers the bread and wine, later to be consecrated, I consciously put such people and situations there to be joined with Christ's offering to the Father.  Each day there is something new in these offerings, each day the mass is different because of these developments from the previous day to make today's mass new for God and for us.

Enough for today.  I am going to a medical clinic tomorrow to get myself tested for a possible pylora in my stomach.  My stomach is so acidic and I get often chills and feel sleepy, weak, dumpy.  I feel very sensitive to any breeze and need extra sleep.  Ugh!  I have a big event coming my way all of next week.  Starting Monday morning I will lead about 40-50 Carmelites through their annual Study Week, with Teresa of Avila being the topic.  15 presentations, three a day, through Friday afternoon.  I will need energy!  Prayers please for me  to get my energy back and for all who participate.  Thanks so much.

Bernie Owens

Friends,

  I am now back in Nairobi after three months in the US.  It is very good to be back home, even though I am going through the chills and a virus cold, feeling weak and having to sleep a lot of extra hours. There is always something to remind us this is not heaven or even close to it!  Here it is winter, overcast a lot, damp at times; with no heat in our rooms I feel the chill too easily.  I am wearing my Pendleton wool shirt with a pullover on top of that; windows and door are closed too.  I don't feel a lot of pep.  I am not long from crawling into bed again, and it is only 11 AM.

  Today is a major feast of one of the most important saints of Christianity:  John the Baptist.  I just love the scripture readings at the mass celebrating him.  I hear in them much of God's own goodness to my own self.  I have worn on my neck chain for years a medal commemorating John.  His words "May He (Christ) increase and I decrease" have always spoken to me, strongly.  But even more than those words I resonate very strongly with what John says in the gospel of John the Evangelist:  "My joy is to hear the voice of the Bridegroom "(implying Christ coming to claim His bride.)  This is one of the better ways of explaining why there is so much satisfaction for those who guide the souls of others in retreats and formal spiritual direction.  You witness the amazing action of God in the desires, thoughts and longings of others who have an ongoing, conscious relationship with God.  As John was a 'matchmaker,' helping people connect with God and to know and love Jesus,and so drawing so much satisfaction from this work, so do I and others like me with this privileged work.  We are matchmakers.  It seems there is no better work!  No greater satisfaction in what one can do, serving God and God's work in the hearts and souls of others.

  Today during prayer I sensed the utter insufficiency of every expression, verbal and otherwise, in responding to God as God deserves.  The reality of God, the indescribable goodness and beauty of God, leaves every human expression of praise and thanks limping badly when compared to what God deserves.  Truly, the Spirit of God in our depths must be called upon to pray and to utter what God deserves.  All creation falls short in giving fitting praise and thanks.  Only God can give to God what God deserves.  Thank God there is the Holy Spirit to do just that!  Thank God there is the Eucharist making this possible!

  All for now!  I am off to bed.  I can't force myself any longer!

Bernie Owens