Dear Friends,

  Good afternoon on this Saturday, August 30.  It is 4 PM here, a time for a little slower pace and hazy, rain-threatening weather yet no rain!  In two hours we Jesuits here have our weekly social.  I enjoy the upbeat spirit we have among ourselves during that time. We have a spread with some wine, fruit juice or scotch to choose from;  Also some great cheese, including my favorite (Bre), and some thin ham with tasty multi-grain bread, chips, also roasted peanuts (which I have "overdosed" on at times and discovered I am allergic to--very itchy, big pimples break out here and there on me!).  I am feeling sleepy today, but some of this is probably because of the usual low metabolic period late in the afternoon.  Once I get food I pick up in my energy.

  Last Wednesday morning I met for the first time with the students I will have for the course I am leading on Teresa of Avila's classic, The Interior Castle. There are ten of them; all are seminarians in their late 20s or about 30 years old.  They will be ordained priests in the next year or two years or three years.  Four are from India,  (all of them are Carmelites), five Jesuits, and one Pallotine.  The Jesuits are from Uganda, Ghana, and Zambia.  The Pallotine is from Uganda.  We sit in a circle at tables of good size with plenty of room to spread out our books and notes.  The class consists of two 50 minute periods, with a 20 minute break between the two sessions: 9:30 AM to 11:30 AM.  Already I sense a high interest.  We had some excellent 'back and forth' at the first class; also students recruited one additional student who will be joining us for the rest of the classes.  the course is an elective, not a required course, so everyone who is there is there by choice.  That is a great attitude to have with a class of students.  There are 7 or 8 other electives students could have chosen.  Only one has more students than my section has, which is a class on Teilhard de Chardin's writings and through them a sketching out of a Global Spirituality.  So . . . I am delighted to finally, finally be teaching again.  It will be quite different than what I have been accustomed to.  At Manresa I would have 30-40 people come biweekly for a reading circle/seminar to discuss great books on spiritual themes, but there was no exam, no accountability about whether people read and studied or not.  This time grades are given; and an exam comes at the end of the program, plus I am requiring them to keep a journal of their thoughts and feelings on the readings and our discussions during the course.

  During afternoon before this class, I met with faculty members of Hekima college, the seminary, about the Ignatian spirituality that underlies their teaching.  We are to have monthly meetings.  I experienced great variations in interest.  Some Jesuits were not  interested in being there, but the president of the school and dean definitely wanted to be there.  Four of the participants are not Jesuits, so I am right now not clear on how I am going to lead this disparate gathering.  The president of the college is supposed to drive out here to talk with me this afternoon before our social and together we hopefully will find some resolution, some clearer focus.

  Last Thursday, the 28th, was the feast of St. Augustine, arguably the greatest theologian in the history of the Christian church.  Some Dominicans may claim St. Thomas Aquinas is the greatest.  Anyway, both are great and I think more would say Augustine is #1.  Anyway,  I had the 5:15 PM liturgy for the retreatants that day and chose to focus during the homily on one of the great themes in Augustine's writings about what happens when teaching goes on.  His contention is that in each of us is the inner teacher, this God-given light that illuminates our mind and shows all of us what is the truth in that moment, what is right.  It is more than conscience but an active, dynamic Presence which as time goes on and if we pay attention, we discover it is a Person, it is Christ within guiding, enlightening, leading us in the moment and for the whole journey of our life.  But we have to take the time to be quiet and look within, to seek and want to be open to being guided, to be shown what is true and good, what is beautiful if we are going to be taught and notice what is true and good and beautiful. It is a truly exciting theme and says something about how to listen and how lead others, especially in a time of teaching. What means so much to me is that there inner reality is more than just an instinct about what is right and wrong but is a Person, the inner Friend who is Truth and Goodness and will show us what is in harmony with Truth and Goodness and what is not.  The more we make time and a place in our life for this Presence, the better we get at noticing and understanding this Light's guidance of us.  Life becomes truly a dialogue with this inner Light and a sense that I am not alone, that I am most myself when I live in communion and seek the guidance of this inner Divine Friend.  I am not an isolated individual; rather, I am part of a "we" and am my best self when listening to and making choices after consulting within with this Light.

   Right now I am guiding each day five retreatants. Two are making the full 30-day retreat, three are making 8-day retreats. (One of those making an 8-day is a repeat from last year!)  All are nuns in their 30s; all are African.  I sometimes come away from our daily conversations (I see each one separately for usually 40-45 minutes each) just amazed at how real God is, how active God is and so I am deeply touched by how God gives to each exactly what she needs at a certain point in her walk in life.  I feel immensely blessed to witness such initiatives of God and sometimes want to say to all those I know:  Do you realize how close and real God is!  God's presence at times is so "thick", so strong!  One of those on retreat four days ago experienced a major flashback of a terribly painful, humiliating experience of some years ago, an experience she had repressed for many years.  Then, bang, the memory came in a flash and she trembled but was able to regain her balance and bring it to God in prayer.  She has felt since then an immense freedom and healing from what happened to her all those years ago.  I feel so privileged to be allowed to witness to what is clearly God's work and how God does this in people.  It seems all of us suffer to some degree with a low opinion of ourselves and doubt our lovableness.   A major part of these retreats, then, is providing people with the right Scripture passages and lots of time while in silence for them to process these Scripture passages that proclaim God's personal, profound love for them, and thus to be healed of the lie they often live by, that they have been "infected" by,  for so many years of their life.  This may sound rather rudimentary, but I have found that all of us suffer from this to some degree or other . . . some in major ways while we "go lookin' for love in all the wrong places!"  Lord, have mercy!!

  I need to go.  God bless each of you who reads this.  I wish you whatever blessing God wants you to have at this time in your journey.

Bernie Owens